Thursday

You don't want your children to be "peer oriented". Stay attached!

My current read is one that I'll be sharing and recommending for years to come.  Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr. Gordon Neufeld's Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers discusses the detrimental phenomenon dubbed "peer orientation".  This is when children form attachments to their peers instead of attaching to their parents. Because peer orientation was never intended by nature, a whole slew of problems result... as does everything we do when we veer far away from nature.

I've listened to several inspiring interviews with Dr. Mate on public radio and this book instructs parents on how to reclaim their "lost" children (I think of the movie Thirteen).  Likewise, it validates the efforts and instincts of those parents who have, indeed, chosen to keep their children naturally close.  If given a choice as a mother, I'll take the attached child.  I use this book as a tool in maintaining my attachment to my child.  We've completed earlier attachment practices such as birth bonding, babywearing, breast feeding, and now I need ways to stay attached that go beyond the toddler years. 

I'm joining a local homeschool association this month and the meeting's theme is a book swap.  Though I'm sure they want us to share various homeschool curriculum and lesson books, I'll be bringing this one.  It's the most appropriate book I own regarding the benefits of homsechooling, though it is not explicitly stated as such. I strongly believe that maintaining that parent-child attachment is a key factor in homeschool success.  Dr. Mate would say homeschooled children maintain their good behavior, social skills, creativity, and innocence because they are not peer-oriented like many children in public schools.  That's not to say that public school children are doomed, it's just that homeschooling is  one way in particular in which that bond can flourish. They have been able to maintain their natural attachment to their parents. This book is yet another description of what of what I want for my children.

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