My daughter is one of the few only-children left in our circle of friends. All of my mommy pals now have their final two or three kids, most of them spaced close together. Personally, I've always been a fan of the four-year gap in spacing children. There's no way I could manage two children in cloth diapers at the same time or attempt tandem breastfeeding. And, yes, I know you can wear two babies in a sling at once. However, I want to do my best with each child. I want to take my time with them and savor these mothering years. Having babies is not something I simply want to "get over with" as I've heard so often. I want to enjoy being pregnant, I want to have an empowering birth, and I want my first daughter old enough to help out a bit.
Not to mention, I can remember when my sister was born and I was four-years-old. I was old enough to remember her as a newborn and I want my daughter to be old enough to have memories of natural birth and childrearing. God willing, this will provide a positive influence in her life and natural parenting will be her "norm". One of the best gifts I can give her is a picture of healthy, confident, natural womanhood. She won't remember her own infancy, but she'll remember that of her younger siblings. So, with that spacing in mind, I've decided to try for a second baby. This decision came several months early when events just lined up perfectly...eerily so. All of a sudden my IUD was out and I was having a consultation with a midwife. I'm going with it since I know that a bigger power has my life in His Hands. I have a feeling there is a soul that wants to come into existence on this earth.
I kept waiting for that deep desire to have another child to return. And, boy, did I have that overwhelming drive to have my first child! What an amazing force put out into the universe when a woman wants to have a baby...nothing will stop it and it will eventually happen some how, some way. I could sense this from my husband, too, who seemed ready to have a large family the very first day we met. So, it's not just women who have ticking biological clocks. Sure enough, he has been an outstanding, committed, involved father. Our little girl is everything to him.
I remember when I was pregnant and we were assembling the new crib and changing table. He took this task so seriously. With hammer and nails in hand, he beamed about how he had fantasized of this day. It was a dream come true for him in that moment doing "daddy things".
He's been wanting another baby for a while now after all of his friends have had more than one child. I know there's a part of him that wants a son. I want that father-son experience for him, too, just as he's had the father-daughter bond. With this next pregnancy, we've decided to wait to find out the gender. We're going natural on this one and we'll know soon enough.
My question to all the mothers reading this is when did you decide to have another baby? Was it planned? What influenced your opinion on child spacing?
Wednesday
Thursday
You don't want your children to be "peer oriented". Stay attached!
My current read is one that I'll be sharing and recommending for years to come. Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr. Gordon Neufeld's Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers discusses the detrimental phenomenon dubbed "peer orientation". This is when children form attachments to their peers instead of attaching to their parents. Because peer orientation was never intended by nature, a whole slew of problems result... as does everything we do when we veer far away from nature.
I've listened to several inspiring interviews with Dr. Mate on public radio and this book instructs parents on how to reclaim their "lost" children (I think of the movie Thirteen). Likewise, it validates the efforts and instincts of those parents who have, indeed, chosen to keep their children naturally close. If given a choice as a mother, I'll take the attached child. I use this book as a tool in maintaining my attachment to my child. We've completed earlier attachment practices such as birth bonding, babywearing, breast feeding, and now I need ways to stay attached that go beyond the toddler years.
I'm joining a local homeschool association this month and the meeting's theme is a book swap. Though I'm sure they want us to share various homeschool curriculum and lesson books, I'll be bringing this one. It's the most appropriate book I own regarding the benefits of homsechooling, though it is not explicitly stated as such. I strongly believe that maintaining that parent-child attachment is a key factor in homeschool success. Dr. Mate would say homeschooled children maintain their good behavior, social skills, creativity, and innocence because they are not peer-oriented like many children in public schools. That's not to say that public school children are doomed, it's just that homeschooling is one way in particular in which that bond can flourish. They have been able to maintain their natural attachment to their parents. This book is yet another description of what of what I want for my children.
I've listened to several inspiring interviews with Dr. Mate on public radio and this book instructs parents on how to reclaim their "lost" children (I think of the movie Thirteen). Likewise, it validates the efforts and instincts of those parents who have, indeed, chosen to keep their children naturally close. If given a choice as a mother, I'll take the attached child. I use this book as a tool in maintaining my attachment to my child. We've completed earlier attachment practices such as birth bonding, babywearing, breast feeding, and now I need ways to stay attached that go beyond the toddler years.
I'm joining a local homeschool association this month and the meeting's theme is a book swap. Though I'm sure they want us to share various homeschool curriculum and lesson books, I'll be bringing this one. It's the most appropriate book I own regarding the benefits of homsechooling, though it is not explicitly stated as such. I strongly believe that maintaining that parent-child attachment is a key factor in homeschool success. Dr. Mate would say homeschooled children maintain their good behavior, social skills, creativity, and innocence because they are not peer-oriented like many children in public schools. That's not to say that public school children are doomed, it's just that homeschooling is one way in particular in which that bond can flourish. They have been able to maintain their natural attachment to their parents. This book is yet another description of what of what I want for my children.
Tuesday
Why kids do better with less: real explanations from "Simplicity Parenting" author
Here's a one-page article to add to your mommy toolbox! Print it out and hang it on the fridge! I have to share this short interview with Simplicty Parenting author Kim John Payne. He is a voice of encouragement to parents trying to steer their kids away from all the "excess" and "stuff" of the holiday season. Or, maybe birthdays or playdates have gotten out of hand. In situations with kids, I agree that less is more and better behavior-- and higher quality play-- always results. Here are some amazing, common-sense statements from The Mother Company's December 8th interview. Click on the link below for the full story. And, if you haven't heard about "simplicity parenting" check out his website at http://www.simplicityparenting.com
What Too Many Toys Can Do
http://www.themotherco.com/2011/12/too-many-toys/
"Fewer toys reduces conflict among siblings. With feedback through our blog and countless workshops, we’ve noticed kids get along better when there is less. It’s not a huge mystery. Fewer toys invokes scarcity. Scarcity fosters more cooperation. It activates the limbic system in the brain which encourages cooperation. With fewer toys, a toy is rare and is precious. Limiting toys allows for increased depth of play that allows children to process their day. I see it as a cup where they carry all of their experiences from the day. it allows them to empty their cup for the day and be ready for the next."
"In this holiday season as parents are looking for toys for their children, they should ask, “Is this a toy that invokes the creative facilities?” Neutral toys tend to be best. The more a child can impart themselves in the toy, the better the toy. The child can have an industry and purpose. All people love this, not just children. I have built something. I have done something, that builds their self-esteem enormously. I am also a fan of real tools for children, small enough for children to use. Real toys. Not cheap plastic ones. Children learn from imitation. They learn by imitating work. Children who help with the work of chores, if they stand along side us with their own tools, their own gardening tools, their own wash up tools, they can mimic and build their sense of self-esteem by accomplishing a task and being helpful. Granted, it’s probably faster as a parent to do the work by yourself, but we can teach and learn through the gift of work. Many parents have said their best gifts have been small tool boxes with sand paper and hammers. I’m a big fan of those kinds of action gifts as opposed to Xboxes. The difference is action. Children are doing the action rather than the action is foisted on the child."
What Too Many Toys Can Do
http://www.themotherco.com/2011/12/too-many-toys/
"Fewer toys reduces conflict among siblings. With feedback through our blog and countless workshops, we’ve noticed kids get along better when there is less. It’s not a huge mystery. Fewer toys invokes scarcity. Scarcity fosters more cooperation. It activates the limbic system in the brain which encourages cooperation. With fewer toys, a toy is rare and is precious. Limiting toys allows for increased depth of play that allows children to process their day. I see it as a cup where they carry all of their experiences from the day. it allows them to empty their cup for the day and be ready for the next."
"In this holiday season as parents are looking for toys for their children, they should ask, “Is this a toy that invokes the creative facilities?” Neutral toys tend to be best. The more a child can impart themselves in the toy, the better the toy. The child can have an industry and purpose. All people love this, not just children. I have built something. I have done something, that builds their self-esteem enormously. I am also a fan of real tools for children, small enough for children to use. Real toys. Not cheap plastic ones. Children learn from imitation. They learn by imitating work. Children who help with the work of chores, if they stand along side us with their own tools, their own gardening tools, their own wash up tools, they can mimic and build their sense of self-esteem by accomplishing a task and being helpful. Granted, it’s probably faster as a parent to do the work by yourself, but we can teach and learn through the gift of work. Many parents have said their best gifts have been small tool boxes with sand paper and hammers. I’m a big fan of those kinds of action gifts as opposed to Xboxes. The difference is action. Children are doing the action rather than the action is foisted on the child."
Eating Raw-ish
I've been fascinated by the Raw Food Movement. I wasn't even aware of this diet when I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian several years back (before a meat-eating husband came along). But, lately, it's popped up on my radar. I've read quite a bit about it after discussing it with health-conscious pals and coming across it in natural living articles. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raw_foodism
From what I gather, a raw food diet is exactly that. You don't cook the food you eat. And, though it doesn't touch a stove or oven, the food seems to require a lot of preparation in the way of pre-soaking, chopping, blending, dehydrating, and some super-duper creativity. For example, I'd never know how to make a "raw" apple pie. Don't we bake pies? Apparently, you don't have to! Check out this recipe for Raw Apple Pie from Food.com:
http://www.food.com/recipe/raw-apple-pie-225462
Or, try some "raw" chocolate pudding. This rates high on the yummy and texture scale. You can easily mix 1 avacado, 1 banana, 2 tbsp. cocoa powder, stevia to taste, and almond milk as needed for mixing. Don't let anyone know it contains avacado until after they eat it! You'd never know.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/alexs-raw-chocolate-pudding/
I think I'm more raw-ish at this stage. Some items I consume just have to be cooked. My sort-of-raw proejct for today includes blending up some homemade pesto sauce to toss with whole wheat pasta and veggies. I've got an abundance of basil growing in my garden right now, so this suits me well. Ok, some raw emerald-green basil and pinenuts has to give me some points. Or, I could go further by making some raw zucchini noodles.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pesto/
I find the raw diet my ideal way of eating food, but I've got a long way to go. I don't own a dehydrator and I don't know how committed I am to all of the food prep involved in many of the recipes. I'm not sure how this would work with a family-- I doubt my husband would fully embrace it and give up certain processed items. He's healthy for a guy, but total rawness isn't going to happen in our lives right now. It's inspirational and pushes me to think about recipes differently. I guess I am more raw-inspired with my cooking. It's my goal to head in that direction by consuming more living fruits and vegetables and avoiding all things highly processed. I'd like to have more lunches from Pat Greer's Raw Vegan Kitchen here in Houston and it has inspired me to grow my own wheat grass (for making wheat grass juice). http://www.patgreersrawvegankitchen.com/
I'd like to start these habits now when my daughter is young and impressionable, while I'm in my child-bearing/nursing years when good nutrition is essential, and when our family habits/traditions are still being formed. Have you been inspired by the Raw Food Movement? How have you incorporated it into your diet?
From what I gather, a raw food diet is exactly that. You don't cook the food you eat. And, though it doesn't touch a stove or oven, the food seems to require a lot of preparation in the way of pre-soaking, chopping, blending, dehydrating, and some super-duper creativity. For example, I'd never know how to make a "raw" apple pie. Don't we bake pies? Apparently, you don't have to! Check out this recipe for Raw Apple Pie from Food.com:
http://www.food.com/recipe/raw-apple-pie-225462
Or, try some "raw" chocolate pudding. This rates high on the yummy and texture scale. You can easily mix 1 avacado, 1 banana, 2 tbsp. cocoa powder, stevia to taste, and almond milk as needed for mixing. Don't let anyone know it contains avacado until after they eat it! You'd never know.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/alexs-raw-chocolate-pudding/
I think I'm more raw-ish at this stage. Some items I consume just have to be cooked. My sort-of-raw proejct for today includes blending up some homemade pesto sauce to toss with whole wheat pasta and veggies. I've got an abundance of basil growing in my garden right now, so this suits me well. Ok, some raw emerald-green basil and pinenuts has to give me some points. Or, I could go further by making some raw zucchini noodles.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pesto/
I find the raw diet my ideal way of eating food, but I've got a long way to go. I don't own a dehydrator and I don't know how committed I am to all of the food prep involved in many of the recipes. I'm not sure how this would work with a family-- I doubt my husband would fully embrace it and give up certain processed items. He's healthy for a guy, but total rawness isn't going to happen in our lives right now. It's inspirational and pushes me to think about recipes differently. I guess I am more raw-inspired with my cooking. It's my goal to head in that direction by consuming more living fruits and vegetables and avoiding all things highly processed. I'd like to have more lunches from Pat Greer's Raw Vegan Kitchen here in Houston and it has inspired me to grow my own wheat grass (for making wheat grass juice). http://www.patgreersrawvegankitchen.com/
I'd like to start these habits now when my daughter is young and impressionable, while I'm in my child-bearing/nursing years when good nutrition is essential, and when our family habits/traditions are still being formed. Have you been inspired by the Raw Food Movement? How have you incorporated it into your diet?
Monday
Kids Birthday Parties: More Soul, Less Waste
After discovering "The Slow Movement" and learning ways to live a simpler, more meaningful, less consumer-driven lifestyle, I'm having a major dilemma with planning a birthday party for my daughter. We've been able to forego the standard party for the past two years and she hasn't noticed. A cake and presents with family has sufficed. However, she's turning the big 3 now and is fully aware of party hats, birthday cake (which magically tastes better than other varieties of cake) and presents. I'd like to do something special for her, but I'm trying to find something different...something more meaningful than renting a clown. Or a pony. Or a bouncy house.
So, I came across this article by Megan Tietz from Sorta Crunchy that addressed my concerns perfectly. Check it out! Yes, there are other ways to host a child's birthday party!
http://simplemom.net/simple-birthday-ideas/
While you're there, SimpleMom and SortaCrunchy are inspirational websites full of creative ideas.
Some ideas for my daughter's birthday party are swirling in my mind. She really wants the cone-shaped party hats, a birthday cake, and cats. Therefore, I'm thinking we could make homemade hats, a healthy cake from a local natural foods store, and we could have the kids bring items to donate to our local cat shelter. Let me say that I love Evite, but I really want to use this opportunity to mail paper invitations and write paper thank you notes before our mail system becomes obsolete. It can be a learning moment. So retro. Love it.
I've also asked her Waldorf teachers to hold a rainbow bridge ceremony during the day she attends. This classic Waldorf ceremony will be a first for us and is a tradition that I want to start with my children in the home. Please watch this gorgeous video from our local school if you've never seen the beauty and reverence of a Waldorf birthday:
http://www.greatoakschool.org/2010/10/29/the-rainbow-bridge-ceremony/
This video always makes me cry. It reminds me that my daughter is a soul inhabiting a body. The weight of her existence is enormous. Her connection with The Creator is eternal. The day she entered the world and began breathing oxygen was the richest day of my life. I need more than pinata to celebrate that.
So, I came across this article by Megan Tietz from Sorta Crunchy that addressed my concerns perfectly. Check it out! Yes, there are other ways to host a child's birthday party!
http://simplemom.net/simple-birthday-ideas/
While you're there, SimpleMom and SortaCrunchy are inspirational websites full of creative ideas.
Some ideas for my daughter's birthday party are swirling in my mind. She really wants the cone-shaped party hats, a birthday cake, and cats. Therefore, I'm thinking we could make homemade hats, a healthy cake from a local natural foods store, and we could have the kids bring items to donate to our local cat shelter. Let me say that I love Evite, but I really want to use this opportunity to mail paper invitations and write paper thank you notes before our mail system becomes obsolete. It can be a learning moment. So retro. Love it.
I've also asked her Waldorf teachers to hold a rainbow bridge ceremony during the day she attends. This classic Waldorf ceremony will be a first for us and is a tradition that I want to start with my children in the home. Please watch this gorgeous video from our local school if you've never seen the beauty and reverence of a Waldorf birthday:
http://www.greatoakschool.org/2010/10/29/the-rainbow-bridge-ceremony/
This video always makes me cry. It reminds me that my daughter is a soul inhabiting a body. The weight of her existence is enormous. Her connection with The Creator is eternal. The day she entered the world and began breathing oxygen was the richest day of my life. I need more than pinata to celebrate that.
Thursday
Waldorf education looks like...
Experiential learning.
Our back-to-school shopping list for my toddler's Waldorf school included "full rain gear". Each child is required to have their raincoat, rain pants, and rain boots because the class goes outside to experience all sorts of weather. Rainy days are the best!
You'e got to visit TGR Exotics Wildlife Park!
What an amazing find for those in the Houston area! TGR Exotics Wildlife Park is just north of Houston in Spring and showcases an incredible array of exotic animals. This is a great alternative to the larger Houston Zoo, especially if you have young children. We recently attended a playdate out on their property during their pumpkin patch season. They have a fenced-in play space for kids to look at bunny rabbits, do arts and crafts activities, dig in troughs filled with dried corn, paint pumpkins, and pet the resident tabby cat. (Out of all the exotic species living at the park my daughter loved that tom cat more than anything else!) The owner even brought out one of the young joey kangaroos for the kids to pet. That was a first for us!
The owner was incredibly hospitable and fantastic with the children. This was such a unique learning experience for us that we will be back many more times in the future. The facility is well-maintained, the animals are loved, and the staff is incredibly knowledgeable. I highly recommend this for your visit to Houston or for those living in the area. What a find! Here's their website for more info:
http://www.tgrexotics.com/
Monday
Wow! Breastfeeding, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, and even an involved father!
What a gem of a children's book I just found today! We were at a local kids consignment store choosing books when I noticed one authored by Dr. Sears. It was What Baby Needs by William & Martha Sears with Christie Watts Kelly. I love Dr. Sears! His Baby Book was the most helpful manual during my daughter's first two years of life. My personal copy attests to that with its torn pages, pages that have been cried on, breast milk spilled on, baby food smeared on, and a cover with coffee rings and cat tooth marks...all the signs of a good read. So, I was delighted to find a children's book by the amazing Sears family. The story is about a mom and a dad with two children who have their third newborn baby. It depicts ways the older siblings can get involved in caring for the baby and explains how life changes when a new baby arrives.
What makes it stand out amongst the "new baby in the family" children's books is that it portrays Attachment Parenting as normal and healthy. For instance, the mother is shown discreetly breastfeeding, modest skin-to-skin contact is mentioned and its importance to the newborn, the baby sleeps in mom and dad's room in a co-sleeper, both mom and dad wear the baby in a sling while they multi-task, and dad is shown feeding the baby a bottle-- but it is mentioned that it's breast milk in the bottle, not formula.
Interestingly, I picked up on the fact that baby never comes home from the hospital. Hmmmm. In some of my daughter's other books about new babies in the family the baby always has to "come home from the hospital". This is very out of place in our family since she was born at home and I only plan on having home births. Ideally in our society we would have a system in place where home births would be the norm and medically-necessary hospital births would be the exception to that norm. Therefore, in this book, the first picture of the family is in bed. It looks like this could have been a home birth or a birth in a birthing center. Knowing the Sears' views, this looks quite intentional.
Below is a picture taken from the book that I just love! Notice Dad wearing a sling and taking the baby out while mom gets some time with her other child. On the other page, mom is wearing baby-- and, thus, freeing her hands-- while they shop for healthy foods! Do you see how happy those kids are about celery?!! I'm sure that was drawn intentionally, too.
It's nice to see such an involved father in this book. Too often the dads get pushed to the side when babies are little so I love how this shows all the neat things dads can do. I must say, this illustrated father really steps up to the plate and serves as a true hero for his family. It's practical, too, with it's tips for parents and the way it connects with older siblings. I highly recommend this for your own family or for an expecting mom who already has kids. So inspirational when seen in the form of a children's book.
Let me say that my daughter hasn't put this down. She keeps looking at the illustrations and loves all of the adventures the newborn baby has with his family. I breastfed her for 22.5 months so she knows that babies drink milk from their moms and she recognized the sling immediately. She herself has been carried over two years in a Dr. Sears sling from his store. We are thinking about conceiving Baby #2 in the spring or summer and I feel much more confident about her ability to be a big sister after seeing her connect with the ideas and pictures in this book. This is the family I want to be!
Since reviewing this book, I've purchased Baby On The Way by Dr. Sears, the book before this one that details the mom's pregnancy and birth. I've also added some more Attachment Parenting children's books to my wish list. Check these out:
A Ride on Mother's Back: A Day of Baby Carrying Around The World by Emery Bernhard
Carry Me (Babies Everywhere) by Star Bright Books
Mama's Milk by Michael Elsohn Ross
We Have a Baby by Catheryn Falwell
Welcome With Love by Jennie Overend
We Like To Nurse illustrated by Chia Martin
We Like To Nurse Too illustrated by Mary Young
What makes it stand out amongst the "new baby in the family" children's books is that it portrays Attachment Parenting as normal and healthy. For instance, the mother is shown discreetly breastfeeding, modest skin-to-skin contact is mentioned and its importance to the newborn, the baby sleeps in mom and dad's room in a co-sleeper, both mom and dad wear the baby in a sling while they multi-task, and dad is shown feeding the baby a bottle-- but it is mentioned that it's breast milk in the bottle, not formula.
Interestingly, I picked up on the fact that baby never comes home from the hospital. Hmmmm. In some of my daughter's other books about new babies in the family the baby always has to "come home from the hospital". This is very out of place in our family since she was born at home and I only plan on having home births. Ideally in our society we would have a system in place where home births would be the norm and medically-necessary hospital births would be the exception to that norm. Therefore, in this book, the first picture of the family is in bed. It looks like this could have been a home birth or a birth in a birthing center. Knowing the Sears' views, this looks quite intentional.
Below is a picture taken from the book that I just love! Notice Dad wearing a sling and taking the baby out while mom gets some time with her other child. On the other page, mom is wearing baby-- and, thus, freeing her hands-- while they shop for healthy foods! Do you see how happy those kids are about celery?!! I'm sure that was drawn intentionally, too.
Let me say that my daughter hasn't put this down. She keeps looking at the illustrations and loves all of the adventures the newborn baby has with his family. I breastfed her for 22.5 months so she knows that babies drink milk from their moms and she recognized the sling immediately. She herself has been carried over two years in a Dr. Sears sling from his store. We are thinking about conceiving Baby #2 in the spring or summer and I feel much more confident about her ability to be a big sister after seeing her connect with the ideas and pictures in this book. This is the family I want to be!
Since reviewing this book, I've purchased Baby On The Way by Dr. Sears, the book before this one that details the mom's pregnancy and birth. I've also added some more Attachment Parenting children's books to my wish list. Check these out:
A Ride on Mother's Back: A Day of Baby Carrying Around The World by Emery Bernhard
Carry Me (Babies Everywhere) by Star Bright Books
Mama's Milk by Michael Elsohn Ross
We Have a Baby by Catheryn Falwell
Welcome With Love by Jennie Overend
We Like To Nurse illustrated by Chia Martin
We Like To Nurse Too illustrated by Mary Young
Wednesday
How to make easy felted balls
Supplies:
100% wool roving yarn (or any wool yarn but I like "roving" because it felts better)
Jingle bells (I prefer a medium to large size)
Pantyhose
Detergent and/or dish soap
Vinegar
Procedure:
1. Wind the wool roving yarn firmly around the jingle bell until you have a ball in the size and shape you like. Repeat this for as many balls as you wish to make.
2. Take a pantyhose leg and stuff one ball inside and tie it off with a piece of yarn to hold it's shape in the washing machine. Repeat this for as many balls as you're making. Each ball needs to be tied off individually so that it looks like a strand of pearls, not a bean pod. The end result might look like a caterpillar.
3. Wash in the washing machine with detergent for a few hot/cold cycles.
4. If this isn't enough to felt it, what I did was soak and rub the balls in one bowl of hot water with dish soap and then alternate with a bowl of ice cold water. I found it easier to put the 2 bowls in the kitchen sink since you'll have splashes. Alternate washing and aggitating the balls a few times.
5. Rinse in white vinegar and then rinse it one last time in water.
6. Remove the balls from the pantyhose (or you can remove them immediately after they come out of the washing machine) and let them dry. The pantyhose will be stuck to the balls but just peel it off or cut as much of the pantyhose off with scissors. It might be a little fuzzy, but it'll come off.
NOTE: Feel free to mix pieces of yarn together to create different color combinations. Or, try making an orange felt ball to be a pretend orange, or a red one for an apple, or a bunch of little purple ones to create a bunch of grapes. They can be a model solar system, snowmen, beads for jewelry, or garlands for decorating. With the jingle bell inside they make perfect cat toys or the larger sized balls can be used for baby toys. I get a lot of inspiration from Etsy or just Google images of it.
Applying "Mindful Parenting" with simple verses.
Overwhelmed is how I've been feeling lately due to obligations, dealing with illness, dealing with difficult people, dealing with homeschooling my toddler part-time and always being "on" and 100% at my best, dealing, dealing...there's always a challenge in our path as mothers. As humans beings. Such is life. Therefore, I've been forced to use all these wonderful "tools" in my "emotional toolbox". I wanted to share a simple tactic that has helped me get through these past weeks.
Many of you are familiar with the concept of mindful parenting. Being mindful, living with intention, and doing everything I do with purpose are major goals in life for me. It's nothing I've mastered, but it is certainly a practice. Here is a link to their website and one I've found to be inspirational in my own life. It really speaks to me and what I'm trying to accomplish in my mothering: http://www.themindfulparent.org/
On their website you'll notice their mission statement. Repeat it to yourself. Being "better grounded in the present moment" is the part that resonates with my soul the most. I need lots of help being in the moment and savoring each precious day.
I've started using the verses suggested from The Mindful Parent. Waldorf education makes very good use of verses and I've started making up little rhymes with almost every activity we do at home. They serve as a way to transition from one activity to the next, to bring the child's attention to the task at hand, and makes it seem like it's a task worth doing. For example, at school we complete the chore of folding laundry whilst singing "butterfly so high, butterfly so high, friends forever, folding together". Or, when making the bed it's "make the bed, make the bed, every body make the bed". Likewise, if I'm having a morning with dread and stress creeping in I purposefully say This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. That simple memory verse brings my focus to the weight and wonder of living through another cycle of a day on earth. It reminds me that God wants me to be alive on this very day in this very place. It's not something to be taken lightly. It's an abundant gift.
The idea behind the use of verses is that it forces the parent's attention back to the child, focuses their response to the child, and helps parents enjoy those moments of "stillness and deep joy". Meditations and verses help parents return to that "place of stillness". Too often we simply go through the moments without enjoying this rich world around us, without enjoying this connection with our children. When I am connected with my daughter and in a place of mindfulness, I am in such a state of peace. I love being a mother in these moments. And, when things get out of hand, I can handle them with much more calm and stay in control of the situation.
Check out their website and try them out in your own life.
Many of you are familiar with the concept of mindful parenting. Being mindful, living with intention, and doing everything I do with purpose are major goals in life for me. It's nothing I've mastered, but it is certainly a practice. Here is a link to their website and one I've found to be inspirational in my own life. It really speaks to me and what I'm trying to accomplish in my mothering: http://www.themindfulparent.org/
On their website you'll notice their mission statement. Repeat it to yourself. Being "better grounded in the present moment" is the part that resonates with my soul the most. I need lots of help being in the moment and savoring each precious day.
I've started using the verses suggested from The Mindful Parent. Waldorf education makes very good use of verses and I've started making up little rhymes with almost every activity we do at home. They serve as a way to transition from one activity to the next, to bring the child's attention to the task at hand, and makes it seem like it's a task worth doing. For example, at school we complete the chore of folding laundry whilst singing "butterfly so high, butterfly so high, friends forever, folding together". Or, when making the bed it's "make the bed, make the bed, every body make the bed". Likewise, if I'm having a morning with dread and stress creeping in I purposefully say This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. That simple memory verse brings my focus to the weight and wonder of living through another cycle of a day on earth. It reminds me that God wants me to be alive on this very day in this very place. It's not something to be taken lightly. It's an abundant gift.
The idea behind the use of verses is that it forces the parent's attention back to the child, focuses their response to the child, and helps parents enjoy those moments of "stillness and deep joy". Meditations and verses help parents return to that "place of stillness". Too often we simply go through the moments without enjoying this rich world around us, without enjoying this connection with our children. When I am connected with my daughter and in a place of mindfulness, I am in such a state of peace. I love being a mother in these moments. And, when things get out of hand, I can handle them with much more calm and stay in control of the situation.
Check out their website and try them out in your own life.
Tuesday
A special gift from A Toy Garden
I just received a package I ordered from A Toy Garden, one of my favorite natural toy stores. This was a gift for my 2-year-old and it arrived so quickly that I'm having to hide it a few more days until it's time to open it. This was the fuschia pink Sweetie Pie Doll and the set of 4 Summer Play Silks, all lovely in color and of heirloom quality. The doll is the perfect 13" size for her right now, slightly weighted with millet and surpisingly sturdy. The silks are thicker than others on the market and are the most versatile "toy" a child can own. She loves building with them, they're blankets for her stuffed animals, it's for dress-up, it's for scenery, or just snuggling with the natural silk fabric.
This gift was purchased because I am in the process of transitioning out of our old plastic, battery-operated toys to more natural, open-ended ones. For instance, the toy "wish-list" for my daughter includes: Waldorf dolls (handmade of wool with minimal features), wooden Ostheimer/Kinderkram animals and people, thick play silks, wooden puzzles, handmade musical instruments, Stockmar modeling beeswax, Stockmar block crayons, little face-less gnomes, silk and felted crowns for dress-up, a handmade train set, some needle-felted figures, a set of wooden eggs and more wooden pretend food.
I've donated, sold, and thrown away a lot of my daughter's old toys as I have slowly and thoughtfully replaced them with high quality ones that encourage open-ended play. (Let me reiterate that we've done this gradually throughout the past year and I don't advise anyone to switch toys on a child overnight. Start by replacing the toys they don't use anymore. And, yes, some of her old toys we have decided to keep. For instance, she loves her pink plastic kitchen with the blender that makes sounds. We've also got this giant plastic riding horse that says, "Giddy up, partner! Let's set up camp for the night! Oh, no! It's a stampede!" So we are in no way Waldorf purists! It's all about the small changes here and there.) Many of these were gifts so we've kindly asked loved ones to avoid anything with batteries and popular cartoon characters.
Speaking of the cartoon character issue, I had a conversation with a like-mided mom last week and made the comment that we were a "Dora-free family". She knew exactly what I meant. We want our kids to use their own brain power to develop the characters in their play and to write their own scripts. We want our kids to be surrounded by more wholesome and innocent figures than Barbie dolls. We don't want advertising campaigns influencing what our children consume or their values. I'd seriously prefer my family give her a sock filled with rice, a basket of acorns, a hand-made item, or an experience such as a trip to the museum...anything but SpongeBob. To explore this topic more, please click on this link to read the Chicago Tribune article, "Cartoon pals stay home: Looking to combat classroom distractions and marketing overload, some schools are banning media characters":
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-01-04/features/sc-fam-0104-character-free-class-20110104_1_private-schools-waldorf-schools-american-montessori-society
And let's not forget that the best part of any new package is the box it came in! My daughter loves turning these boxes into cat houses, she decorates them with crayons, it's a boat, it's a car, it's a table for a tea party...you really see those little minds constructing and creating.
Making this toy conversion gives some parents pause due to the higher cost compared with items found at the local chain or big box store. (It certainly gives me pause, which is a good thing! It forces me to think about what and how much I purchase. It forces me to be a conscientious consumer and mother.) The cost reflects the high quality materials used such as woods, silks, wools, linens, cottons, metals, beeswax, organic herbs, and they cost more to manufacture. You won't be pulling any "made in China" stickers off these toys. Most are made in the USA or are Fair Trade items made in developing countries. A Toy Garden offers lots of unique fair trade toys that make your dollars stretch even further into the lives of others. Even with the higher cost, I've come to see that these toys are worth it in the long run. They are an investment. You won't be throwing away broken parts the day after Christmas and they're so open-ended that their multiple uses last more years. A toy a toddler can play with can also be used in a different way by an older sibling.
It is far better to have fewer toys that will recieve much more use. Try visiting these stores for some beautiful children's items:
http://www.atoygarden.com/
http://www.palumba.com/
http://www.novanatural.com/
http://www.rosiehippo.com/
http://www.thewoodenwagon.com/
This gift was purchased because I am in the process of transitioning out of our old plastic, battery-operated toys to more natural, open-ended ones. For instance, the toy "wish-list" for my daughter includes: Waldorf dolls (handmade of wool with minimal features), wooden Ostheimer/Kinderkram animals and people, thick play silks, wooden puzzles, handmade musical instruments, Stockmar modeling beeswax, Stockmar block crayons, little face-less gnomes, silk and felted crowns for dress-up, a handmade train set, some needle-felted figures, a set of wooden eggs and more wooden pretend food.
I've donated, sold, and thrown away a lot of my daughter's old toys as I have slowly and thoughtfully replaced them with high quality ones that encourage open-ended play. (Let me reiterate that we've done this gradually throughout the past year and I don't advise anyone to switch toys on a child overnight. Start by replacing the toys they don't use anymore. And, yes, some of her old toys we have decided to keep. For instance, she loves her pink plastic kitchen with the blender that makes sounds. We've also got this giant plastic riding horse that says, "Giddy up, partner! Let's set up camp for the night! Oh, no! It's a stampede!" So we are in no way Waldorf purists! It's all about the small changes here and there.) Many of these were gifts so we've kindly asked loved ones to avoid anything with batteries and popular cartoon characters.
Speaking of the cartoon character issue, I had a conversation with a like-mided mom last week and made the comment that we were a "Dora-free family". She knew exactly what I meant. We want our kids to use their own brain power to develop the characters in their play and to write their own scripts. We want our kids to be surrounded by more wholesome and innocent figures than Barbie dolls. We don't want advertising campaigns influencing what our children consume or their values. I'd seriously prefer my family give her a sock filled with rice, a basket of acorns, a hand-made item, or an experience such as a trip to the museum...anything but SpongeBob. To explore this topic more, please click on this link to read the Chicago Tribune article, "Cartoon pals stay home: Looking to combat classroom distractions and marketing overload, some schools are banning media characters":
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-01-04/features/sc-fam-0104-character-free-class-20110104_1_private-schools-waldorf-schools-american-montessori-society
And let's not forget that the best part of any new package is the box it came in! My daughter loves turning these boxes into cat houses, she decorates them with crayons, it's a boat, it's a car, it's a table for a tea party...you really see those little minds constructing and creating.
Making this toy conversion gives some parents pause due to the higher cost compared with items found at the local chain or big box store. (It certainly gives me pause, which is a good thing! It forces me to think about what and how much I purchase. It forces me to be a conscientious consumer and mother.) The cost reflects the high quality materials used such as woods, silks, wools, linens, cottons, metals, beeswax, organic herbs, and they cost more to manufacture. You won't be pulling any "made in China" stickers off these toys. Most are made in the USA or are Fair Trade items made in developing countries. A Toy Garden offers lots of unique fair trade toys that make your dollars stretch even further into the lives of others. Even with the higher cost, I've come to see that these toys are worth it in the long run. They are an investment. You won't be throwing away broken parts the day after Christmas and they're so open-ended that their multiple uses last more years. A toy a toddler can play with can also be used in a different way by an older sibling.
It is far better to have fewer toys that will recieve much more use. Try visiting these stores for some beautiful children's items:
http://www.atoygarden.com/
http://www.palumba.com/
http://www.novanatural.com/
http://www.rosiehippo.com/
http://www.thewoodenwagon.com/
Thursday
Celebrating Autumn Without Halloween
October can mean more to your family besides binging on teeth-rotting candy, stressing out over the perfect costume, and over-indulging in all the negative imagry of gore. I choose not to celebrate Halloween and I have noticed a growing number of families in the suburban Houston area who have opted for alternatives. For instance, I've noticed several church marquees advertising fall festivals in lieu of trick-or-treating. KSBJ always has an updated list of harvest festivals that are family-friendly, too. So, as I was Googling for other options, I found Elizabeth Ackerman's article from the Montrose Alternative Education Examiner on "Ten Alternative Ways to Celebrate Halloween". http://www.examiner.com/alternative-education-in-denver/ten-alternative-ways-to-celebrate-halloween Maybe this article can spark new traditions in your family.
Let me add that my daughter's Waldorf school does not host a Halloween party like the area public schools. Autumn brings two festivals to their school: Michaelmas and Martinmas. Both are observed through story-telling, songs, arts & crafts, and a healthy community potluck. Both of these events have stories with deeper moral values and symbolism:
http://waldorfjourney.typepad.com/a_journey_through_waldorf/2008/09/michaelmas-festival.html
http://maymomvt.blogspot.com/2007/11/making-lanterns-for-martinmas.html
Being an evolving Waldorf family, what we have done is incorporate some of these autumn themes into our circle time with songs about spiders (ie, The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Little Miss Muffet), learn about the lives of spiders, and read story books with spiders in them. Instead of carving jack-o-lanterns, we are learning about pumpkins and squash as foods. These have really caught her eye in the store since they're so different from her familiar bananas, apples and baby carrots. Learning about seasonal produce is a focus for us so that her diet remains varied. She can expand her tastes to include healthy foods that most kids are not eating. (Aren't french fries the number one vegetable most kids eat?!) My toddler can touch and feel the unique texture of acorn squash, butternut squash, and spaghetti squash at the grocery store. She can then help me cut it up, remove the seeds, cook it, and help prepare a special autumn meal made from autumn produce. One of the special recipes we are trying to perfect is real pumpkin soup that is served inside a hollowed-out pumpkin. I think this is an impressive way to present soup and gives it a better purpose than carving it for mere decoration. I found this recipe if you'd like to try it tonight for your dinner:
http://www.food.com/recipe/martha-stewarts-pumpkin-soup-in-a-pumpkin-13557
Every fall I love to cook roasted acorn squash. I cut the squash in half, add butter, chopped walnuts or pecans, some brown sugar, dried cranberries, and roast it in the oven. The red cranberries give it additional color and the beautiful shape of the squash is a stand-out on the dining room table. This also makes a nice brunch dish.
My favorite butternut squash dish is a good bisque! I'm still looking for one that my toddler will eat but that has enough extra flavor to interest adults. Otherwise, it makes a nice puree that combines well with peaches or pears or mangos for tasty and healthy baby food.
Don't forget about the beautiful and antioxidant-rich pomegranates that are common in the fall. We just bought a few today and she had a wonderful "moment of discovery" as we cut into it and and saw it reveal dozens of little ruby pearl seeds. She helped me meticulously remove the seeds and we sprinkled them on top of our salad. Speaking of salads, try combining your fresh pomegranate seeds with kale or spinach and add sunflower seeds, almonds, walnuts, carrots...the possibilities are endless. Pomegranate chicken is another favorite dish of mine.
Whatever you do with your autumn produce, it is far better than participating in the mass consumerism that is promoted this time of year. Isn't spending more time in the produce section better than visiting the black-and-orange-mega-size-candy aisle? If you have the option, why not take your children to a local pumpkin patch instead of that typical school or friend sugarfest/costume party? Take a hay ride, craft your own scarecrow, knit a blanket, pay attention to the local wildlife as they prepare for winter, or donate winter coats to a shelter. For instance, something simple and beautiful I did this morning was to take my daughter outside in the early hours to look at the bright moon and stars still shining before dawn. These dark mornings are so neat for kids to observe and are a signal to them that summer has gone and a new, colder season is approaching.
With this Halloween bombardment, I'm reminded about my desire to create more wholesomeness in my soul and in my family. I love how Waldorf education brings this out in me. Needless to say, the way Halloween is celebrated just makes me feel yucky...tainted...anything but healthy and vibrant and thriving. It doesn't move me forward in life. So, we will be turning off our porch lights on the 31st, enjoying each other's company, and not eating candy corn-- but a nice, hot bowl of homemade soup. What are you doing with your pumpkin?
Let me add that my daughter's Waldorf school does not host a Halloween party like the area public schools. Autumn brings two festivals to their school: Michaelmas and Martinmas. Both are observed through story-telling, songs, arts & crafts, and a healthy community potluck. Both of these events have stories with deeper moral values and symbolism:
http://waldorfjourney.typepad.com/a_journey_through_waldorf/2008/09/michaelmas-festival.html
http://maymomvt.blogspot.com/2007/11/making-lanterns-for-martinmas.html
Our paper mache lanterns made by layering tissue paper and watered-down glue over balloons.
Being an evolving Waldorf family, what we have done is incorporate some of these autumn themes into our circle time with songs about spiders (ie, The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Little Miss Muffet), learn about the lives of spiders, and read story books with spiders in them. Instead of carving jack-o-lanterns, we are learning about pumpkins and squash as foods. These have really caught her eye in the store since they're so different from her familiar bananas, apples and baby carrots. Learning about seasonal produce is a focus for us so that her diet remains varied. She can expand her tastes to include healthy foods that most kids are not eating. (Aren't french fries the number one vegetable most kids eat?!) My toddler can touch and feel the unique texture of acorn squash, butternut squash, and spaghetti squash at the grocery store. She can then help me cut it up, remove the seeds, cook it, and help prepare a special autumn meal made from autumn produce. One of the special recipes we are trying to perfect is real pumpkin soup that is served inside a hollowed-out pumpkin. I think this is an impressive way to present soup and gives it a better purpose than carving it for mere decoration. I found this recipe if you'd like to try it tonight for your dinner:
http://www.food.com/recipe/martha-stewarts-pumpkin-soup-in-a-pumpkin-13557
Every fall I love to cook roasted acorn squash. I cut the squash in half, add butter, chopped walnuts or pecans, some brown sugar, dried cranberries, and roast it in the oven. The red cranberries give it additional color and the beautiful shape of the squash is a stand-out on the dining room table. This also makes a nice brunch dish.
My favorite butternut squash dish is a good bisque! I'm still looking for one that my toddler will eat but that has enough extra flavor to interest adults. Otherwise, it makes a nice puree that combines well with peaches or pears or mangos for tasty and healthy baby food.
Don't forget about the beautiful and antioxidant-rich pomegranates that are common in the fall. We just bought a few today and she had a wonderful "moment of discovery" as we cut into it and and saw it reveal dozens of little ruby pearl seeds. She helped me meticulously remove the seeds and we sprinkled them on top of our salad. Speaking of salads, try combining your fresh pomegranate seeds with kale or spinach and add sunflower seeds, almonds, walnuts, carrots...the possibilities are endless. Pomegranate chicken is another favorite dish of mine.
Whatever you do with your autumn produce, it is far better than participating in the mass consumerism that is promoted this time of year. Isn't spending more time in the produce section better than visiting the black-and-orange-mega-size-candy aisle? If you have the option, why not take your children to a local pumpkin patch instead of that typical school or friend sugarfest/costume party? Take a hay ride, craft your own scarecrow, knit a blanket, pay attention to the local wildlife as they prepare for winter, or donate winter coats to a shelter. For instance, something simple and beautiful I did this morning was to take my daughter outside in the early hours to look at the bright moon and stars still shining before dawn. These dark mornings are so neat for kids to observe and are a signal to them that summer has gone and a new, colder season is approaching.
With this Halloween bombardment, I'm reminded about my desire to create more wholesomeness in my soul and in my family. I love how Waldorf education brings this out in me. Needless to say, the way Halloween is celebrated just makes me feel yucky...tainted...anything but healthy and vibrant and thriving. It doesn't move me forward in life. So, we will be turning off our porch lights on the 31st, enjoying each other's company, and not eating candy corn-- but a nice, hot bowl of homemade soup. What are you doing with your pumpkin?
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