I experienced my first miscarriage this week and I hope it's my last. It was the severe cramping that stirred me from my sleep at five o'clock in the morning. Then, I felt blood all over my legs. I knew the baby was gone before I even turned on the light. I told my husband, almost in an altered state, "I am having a miscarriage." When I went to bed earlier that night, I had no clue that my pregnancy was ending.
That scene was eerily similar to the birth of my daughter. At a couple days past her due date, I woke up at 4:00am with a strange feeling that my cycle was starting. But, it was my water breaking and I was going into labor. It was so exciting and joyous. I called the midwife and woke up my husband like I was a kid on Christmas morning. Two very different mornings in my life as a mother.
My experience was the "typical" first trimester miscarriage. There wasn't a recognizable baby to hold or bury. It's not a pleasant physical experience to endure. Not only is there blood and severe cramping that makes you vomit in pain, but I had to get used to my body returning to it's non-pregnant state. Symptoms started leaving me one by one. The cravings left, no more nausea, I felt less bloated. I have a giant jar of pickles in my fridge that makes me cry. It truly is a death. When they are gone, they are gone. My body moved everything out and it's like nothing ever happened. It's like there never was a baby to begin with.
Sunday
Friday
OK, now I'm REALLY pregnant!
You know you are really pregnant when those funny cravings hit. In case the positive pregnancy test wasn't enough, I found myself spending way too much time in the pickle and canned fish section in the grocery store today. I was on a mission to find the perfect dill pickles-- a staple in the last pregnancy-- and I had to have some canned fish...anchovies? sardines? kipper snacks? So, I just enjoyed a lunch of sardines (packed in water) with some pickle slices. Perfect!
I was worried (after the fact) that the sardines weren't very nutritious or were one of those "bad" fish pregnant women weren't supposed to eat. However, sardines are actually pretty good for you! Check out the nutrition endorsement my canned little fishy friends received:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/30/the-11-best-foods-you-arent-eating/
Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.” They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
Ok, so the pickles didn't make the list. I'm still eating them.
I was worried (after the fact) that the sardines weren't very nutritious or were one of those "bad" fish pregnant women weren't supposed to eat. However, sardines are actually pretty good for you! Check out the nutrition endorsement my canned little fishy friends received:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/06/30/the-11-best-foods-you-arent-eating/
Sardines: Dr. Bowden calls them “health food in a can.” They are high in omega-3’s, contain virtually no mercury and are loaded with calcium. They also contain iron, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, zinc, copper and manganese as well as a full complement of B vitamins.
How to eat: Choose sardines packed in olive or sardine oil. Eat plain, mixed with salad, on toast, or mashed with dijon mustard and onions as a spread.
Ok, so the pickles didn't make the list. I'm still eating them.
Wednesday
I'm pregnant!
Even though I added an exclamation point in the title of that sentence, I don't really feel it. Yes, I am pregnant with my second baby and this was very planned and desired. However, I was so tired the morning I took my home pregnancy test, I just went back to sleep for a few more minutes. It's still early in the first trimester and, of course, there's always that advice from others to wait until after 12 weeks in case of a miscarriage. I haven't told too many people, but I'm sure word will spread when I start showing. It's hard to hide that bump at the gym.
Let me say that I am pretty excited about conceiving the first cycle after my IUD removal. I want to give my husband a sporty high five on that. Alright! Way to go on the first round! Actually, most of the credit goes to the calendar and me giving the orders to commence baby-making on the right days. So, yes, to the mothers reading this, you can certainly get pregnant the first time after your Paraguard comes out. Heck, there are women who conceive with it still in place.
This is going to be a low-key, low-tech pregnancy. I'm electing to forgo all ultrasounds unless medically necessary after reading more research on the risks. It isn't necessary and many times does not improve birth outcomes. In fact, several studies indicate the opposite. I won't find out the gender since we'll know in a few months anyway. (We still have plenty of gender neutral items that can be re-used with this baby.) Even with the first part of my pregnancy in OBGYN care, I did not opt for most of the tests offered. That information would not have done me any good. What would I have done with that information? Abort the baby? I question it's true value related to birth outcomes and I'm sure there are studies out there about that, too.
It's so low-key this time around because I realized I didn't need that much when my daughter was born. What I really needed was: a housekeeper, boobs that produced more milk, and a stronger support network. When I say a "stronger" support network, what I mean is that I wish I'd had more moms around me who shared my ideology on birth and parenting. I had very little support with the decision to homebirth, even though statistics were on my side and I had a stronger case for choosing to birth at home instead of at a hospital. Several people kept telling me to put my baby down when they'd see me holding her or carrying her in a sling (she was always in arms). And, these were people who were not educated on the benefits of baby-wearing or who chose more detached styles of parenting. (I remind people that I gave birth to a mammal-- a primate at that-- not a reptile! Human mothers don't just lay their eggs like sea turtles and let their young fend for themselves. Nor does it make any sense to adopt the latest baby-training trend that promotes behaviors that are counter-intuitive to mammals.)
With that, I got most of my money's worth from: my MobyWrap, my Dr. Sears sling, my cloth breast pads, my nursing tank tops, my decorative breastfeeding cover, diaper bags, my cloth diapers, Birthing From Within by Pamela England, The Baby Book by Dr. Sears, and all the herbal remedies from Lucia's Garden.
I got the least amount of value out of: the stroller, the crib (though this transitions to the toddler bed), my 20-week ultrasound, and our health insurance.
Let me say that I am pretty excited about conceiving the first cycle after my IUD removal. I want to give my husband a sporty high five on that. Alright! Way to go on the first round! Actually, most of the credit goes to the calendar and me giving the orders to commence baby-making on the right days. So, yes, to the mothers reading this, you can certainly get pregnant the first time after your Paraguard comes out. Heck, there are women who conceive with it still in place.
This is going to be a low-key, low-tech pregnancy. I'm electing to forgo all ultrasounds unless medically necessary after reading more research on the risks. It isn't necessary and many times does not improve birth outcomes. In fact, several studies indicate the opposite. I won't find out the gender since we'll know in a few months anyway. (We still have plenty of gender neutral items that can be re-used with this baby.) Even with the first part of my pregnancy in OBGYN care, I did not opt for most of the tests offered. That information would not have done me any good. What would I have done with that information? Abort the baby? I question it's true value related to birth outcomes and I'm sure there are studies out there about that, too.
It's so low-key this time around because I realized I didn't need that much when my daughter was born. What I really needed was: a housekeeper, boobs that produced more milk, and a stronger support network. When I say a "stronger" support network, what I mean is that I wish I'd had more moms around me who shared my ideology on birth and parenting. I had very little support with the decision to homebirth, even though statistics were on my side and I had a stronger case for choosing to birth at home instead of at a hospital. Several people kept telling me to put my baby down when they'd see me holding her or carrying her in a sling (she was always in arms). And, these were people who were not educated on the benefits of baby-wearing or who chose more detached styles of parenting. (I remind people that I gave birth to a mammal-- a primate at that-- not a reptile! Human mothers don't just lay their eggs like sea turtles and let their young fend for themselves. Nor does it make any sense to adopt the latest baby-training trend that promotes behaviors that are counter-intuitive to mammals.)
With that, I got most of my money's worth from: my MobyWrap, my Dr. Sears sling, my cloth breast pads, my nursing tank tops, my decorative breastfeeding cover, diaper bags, my cloth diapers, Birthing From Within by Pamela England, The Baby Book by Dr. Sears, and all the herbal remedies from Lucia's Garden.
I got the least amount of value out of: the stroller, the crib (though this transitions to the toddler bed), my 20-week ultrasound, and our health insurance.
Kids and meaningful work
I was first introduced to this concept of "meaningful work" through the Waldorf school. My daughter's teacher sent a link to the articles below from one of my favorite blogs, The Parenting Passageway. It gives parents ideas on ways to involve children in the daily tasks around the house. It is considered a very good thing to have them do chores at a young age. It is taught that these seemingly menial tasks are, in fact, important ways to nurture the home. They are real assignments and give the small child a sense of accomplishment, a sense of belonging to the family unit, and build motor skills.
This was the most life-changing concept I learned about through Waldorf! It has made my job as a parent much easier and more of a delight. Some of the fun ways I've involved my daughter in housework is to give her her own rag so she can dust, or a bottle of vinegar to clean glass, or wash spoons and forks in a soapy bowl of water, or clean the bathtub with baking soda and a rag. She now helps with grocery store tasks such as picking out items from the shelves, placing the items by the cash register, and putting the grocery cart away. She feeds and brushes the cat, organizes the pantry, and uses the broom and dustpan.
Let me mention that the work of toddler will not be that of a professional housekeeper. It won't be up to your standards. That's fine. I've learned from wiser mothers that it's better to have them work at something even if you have to go back and re-do it yourself. It's all a part of their learning. Let them try.
The last thing I want is to have teenagers who don't do chores or only reluctantly help out around the house. That's why I wanted to start early with her. It engages her. She has such a sense of pride when she's helping. I hope this can help some other parents, too. Please take the time to read the following 2 articles. It will certainly enrich your home life!
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/28/guest-post-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/29/more-about-how-to-create-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/
This was the most life-changing concept I learned about through Waldorf! It has made my job as a parent much easier and more of a delight. Some of the fun ways I've involved my daughter in housework is to give her her own rag so she can dust, or a bottle of vinegar to clean glass, or wash spoons and forks in a soapy bowl of water, or clean the bathtub with baking soda and a rag. She now helps with grocery store tasks such as picking out items from the shelves, placing the items by the cash register, and putting the grocery cart away. She feeds and brushes the cat, organizes the pantry, and uses the broom and dustpan.
Let me mention that the work of toddler will not be that of a professional housekeeper. It won't be up to your standards. That's fine. I've learned from wiser mothers that it's better to have them work at something even if you have to go back and re-do it yourself. It's all a part of their learning. Let them try.
The last thing I want is to have teenagers who don't do chores or only reluctantly help out around the house. That's why I wanted to start early with her. It engages her. She has such a sense of pride when she's helping. I hope this can help some other parents, too. Please take the time to read the following 2 articles. It will certainly enrich your home life!
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/28/guest-post-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/06/29/more-about-how-to-create-meaningful-work-for-toddlers/
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